Circus
by LaBellaDiscord
Summary: The Circus is in town and Edward and Jasper can't seem to stay away from the performers Nights Belladonna and Aurora BoreeAlice despite the warnings. What secrets are they hiding and how will it change all their lives forever. ExB JxA ExR AH OOC *HIATUS*
1. Welcome to the Big Top!

**A/N: Ok Second Fanfic attempt because as we all know the idea comes and you go with it. Hoping everyone likes it. Again any similarities to anything in existence are completely coincidence. **

**I am totally a fan of Britney's new CD Circus which provided the inspiration but it is totally not a song fic, just the jumping point for all the craziness.**

**And this time, I am gonna be a review ho, please please review!!!!!**

**All Human, AU and possible OOC. **

**Rated T for now, possible M for future scenarios.**

**Disclaimer: If you know it, I don't own it but damn it's fun to play with!**

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_**Circus**_

_Welcome to the Big Top!_

I jumped back with a start as another clown crossed my path grinning in the menacing way they do. I shivered as I saw the painted face. Clowns were unnatural. There was a reason no one ever liked clowns. I was pulled from my clown reverie as I was drawn to all the colors and lights surrounding me. It was easy to be distracted with the whirling lights and dinging sounds.

To my right arcade games could be played and bodies of all ages were hitting the moles popping up from their holes for points. Just next to them shots could be heard from a sharp shooting adventure and if you were so inclined, the prize of a goldfish if you could toss a ring on a bottle top.

To my left were the three traditionally striped tents, the tell tale signs that this was indeed a circus. The main show wasn't set to start for another hour so we were still left to our devices, or rather; I was left to the mercy of my friends as they were left to their devices.

"There you are. I thought I'd never find you." A slender arm linked with mine as I gathered my wits about me and looked into the eyes of the blonde speaking. She was petite wearing a mini skirt and tight tank top with the words Superstar bedazzled on the front. I nearly rolled my eyes at the intrusion on my personal space when a second expertly manicured hand caressed my cheek drawing my attention in the opposite direction.

Two exquisite pink plump glossy lips met mine in a slow sensual tango, my thoughts becoming hazy. Now this intrusion I welcomed. I shrugged 'Superstar' off so I could embrace the source of my pleasant confusion. The kiss seemed to end as soon as it began, I had barely registered 'Superstar's' gasp of surprise and let out a low chuckle grinning at my new friend. My eyes met two violet orbs shining with mischief as my companion circled her arms around my waist and smirked condescendingly at 'Superstar'.

"I'd say my pick up line was much more successful than yours." My friend purred at 'Superstar' as she rested her head on my chest leaving 'Superstar' to stand flabbergasted and humiliated in front of her friends. I would have loved to call it the War of the Blondes but there was no contest. I chuckled again watching 'Superstar' retreat hastily in a huff and placed a gentle kiss on my angel's head with a whispered Thank You.

"Masen! Why are you kissing my sister?" Jasper was making his way over with five new bags of cotton candy. We'd been through eight already and seemed to be trying to break our record of twelve from last years carnival. You would think we had learned when we ended up puking it all back up hours later but no, where was the fun. This year's challenge would be to keep it down but I already knew my stomach was going to be putting up a good argument against me. I reached for my new bag and began to munch, mmm I liked the blue kind best.

Rose let go of my waist reaching for her new bag while punching her brother in the side when he put his arm around her shoulders in an effort to mess her hair. "Relax Jas, I was saving poor Edward here from certain doom with a 'Superstar'." On the last word she jumped and went down on one knee with both arms in the air in salute to an old Saturday Night Live sketch with Molly Shannon. She started opening her candy as she righted herself. " 'I thought I'd never find you?' uuhhh, she might as well have asked you to bust your nut up her hole. That would have been a much more original pick up than 'I thought I'd never find you." I let out a hearty laugh at her crassness before quieting down. You'd never know the filth that could come from that girl's mouth by looking at her.

Rose was tall I knew for a girl generally. I didn't know her exact height but she fell below my 6'2" and her height was mostly attributed to a pair of killer legs that went on forever. She had a tight body, easily more beautiful than any Victoria Secret model and long naturally blonde hair that I was happy to describe at every opportunity as stripper hair, all loose and flowing with long waves right down to her waist. I had a thing for stripper hair. She was sex walking all packaged with a nice little finishing bow of violet eyes and a smile that would leave any man melting, thanking her for gracing them with her presence. The best part was that she was also just like one of the guys when she busted out gems like busting nuts in holes and had the mind of an evil genius.

She had always fit great into a group with Jasper and I. Each set of us having our own dynamic. It made things easy on me that she and Jas were so alike; it was as if I had one best friend with gender issues, they were that alike, and their resemblance was eerie too. Sure you expected some similarity between twins, but Jasper was easily as pretty as Rose. He stood just a little taller than I did with that same blonde hair that he wore in longish waves. I always teased him that he was trying to grow his own stripper hair which would result in me getting hit with some foreign object. Then the similarities ended and the differences began, most notably, where Rose's eyes held a vibrant violet color, Jasper's were a cool pale ice blue.

The Hale siblings' appearances certainly demanded attention and that attention only grew when the three of us were together. We were an attractive group with me rounding us out in stark contrast. My hair always seemed a mess in bronze, my eyes an emerald green. When we were just relaxing together, people could always be heard commenting on how we looked like the models in a Calvin Klein ad. It was our curse really. It never failed that one if not more of us would need 'saving' at some point from the legions of fans that seemed to flock to us. Today it seemed had been my day to be saved.

I glanced at Jasper and winked as he caught my eye deciding to have some fun of my own. I nuzzled closer to Rosalie's neck for effect as I whispered in her ear playfully. "I think your pick up was quite original." Her breathe hitched just slightly before she squealed and smacked me with her bag of candy while Jasper just shook his head.

"You know I thank God every day you two couldn't last an hour in a romantic relationship. It would just be wrong." Rose smiled while I just nodded in agreement. He was completely right. We knew, we had tried and we had lasted less than an hour before our dueling personalities made it very clear that our bond was better off platonic. We'd have eventually ended up hating each other or killing each other, and it was much more fun to flirt and joke as we did without the pressure. I blame the temporary lapse in judgment on the stripper hair. It didn't change the effect we knew we had on each other and it had instead turned into a game between us to see whose actions could elicit the biggest reaction from the other.

"Come on you two He-Men. Let's see who's strongest before heading into the Big Top." Rose led us to the Strong Man game. I looked up to gage what kind of strength this would take. It stood about twenty feet up to hit the bell. It didn't look like it would take that much effort to hit the bell. Jasper was already warming up his arms by doing some swings. We lucked out not having to wait in line with everyone starting to head for the Big Top for the big show. The games master approached us.

"Are you ready to test your strength gentlemen?" Jasper was bouncing in anticipation and we were drawing a crowd. It was starting to tip towards a higher volume of females and I knew it wasn't the game grabbing the attention.

"You're going down Masen." Jasper mocked me before letting a huge swing rip. The sledgehammer arced gracefully but came down with a boom as he hit the trigger dead centre sending the weight flying high in defiance of gravity. The spectators clapped and got louder as we watched the lights flash with each inch higher until ending at 96% earning Jasper the title of Superman.

"Damn guy that is the highest any visitor has ever been able to hit." the games master announced in awe. Jasper walked away with a bounce in his step and made as though to tip his hat to me as I took position. He was a smug bastard but so far this time he had earned gloating rights. I would just have to work extra hard to make sure I beat him. I just needed the right incentive.

I rubbed my hands together ready for my shot. The crowd was silent as I prepped my swing. "Hey Rose," I looked over my shoulder and flashed my trademark grin, "what's my prize when I beat your brother?"

"Edward if you beat Jasper, I will…" and I nearly blushed at what she whispered in my ear. I had my incentive.

"Rose." Jasper glared at his sister while she smiled sweetly.

"Oh relax, I just told him I would give him a kiss if he won." She promised me a kiss alright. I heard her mutter under her breathe, that he just didn't know where she promised it. I may have been a virgin but it didn't mean I couldn't indulge in other pleasures. I was getting excited just thinking about it. This was in the bag. I readied my swing when I was interrupted.

"Oh well, if it is just a kiss then, you don't mind opening the competitive field do you. Why not promise a kiss to anyone who can beat my score?" Rose scoffed at him.

"Fine, you're on, anyone who beats your score gets a kiss from me." She crossed her arms over her chest. It just spurred my incentive even more seeing her assets get accentuated.

I breathed out as I heaved the heavy sledgehammer behind me and swung exhaling with the exertion, the head landing on the trigger dead centre like Jasper only this time as my weight marker climbed there was no noise as everyone was anxious to see the results. 89%, 90% and it climbed higher, 91%, 92%, 93% and it stopped. I stared open mouthed. I had lost. I took my defeat graciously as the crowd cheered my attempt turning to shake my friend's hand.

"Alright if you two are done with the pissing contest, we need to get to our seats." Rose started to head to the big top when the games master called to her.

"Um Miss, but did you mean what you said about any other man that wanted to try his luck." Rose grinned.

"Yeah sure, who's going to try their luck? If they beat 96%, I'll give them a kiss." The games master motioned for us to move to allow the contestant through and it was only now that we noticed the hulking man who had been behind us. It was a wonder we hadn't noticed the eclipse he gave as he had towered over us. I was probably exaggerating but this guy was huge.

His clothes were ripped and dirty and he didn't even glance at us as he strode to take position. He seemed to move in slow motion. The gasps as he walked forward were mind blowing; everyone seemed to find him impressive in size. He picked up the sledgehammer as if it were made of sawdust rather than the heavy oak it was and with a single flick sent the weight soaring to a 100% ding with virtually no effort at all. There was no applause, my own clapping ending before beginning as no one made a move to congratulate the beast.

"Looks like I am not the lucky recipient this time Rose." I looked at her and nudged her side only to notice her face had taken on the incredulous look of the crowd. I looked at the Hulk and realized he was walking to us and immediately I felt my face take on the same look as it all clicked into place. The entire right half of his face was scarred in raised bumps, disfigured and dragging in different places, bandages covering what seemed to be the newest additions. It wasn't the disfigurement that drew me though; it was the slight moisture gathering in his eyes as he looked at Rose, a myriad of emotions passing from delight and excitement to sadness. As he closed the distance, I felt Rose take a step back, her face taking on more and more horror as he came closer to claim his prize.

The crowd turned mean, people got brave and began hurling out insults; let the poor girl alone, she shouldn't have to kiss a beast. The games master came and put one hand on the Hulk's arm, the other on his back to get his attention, when he had it, he shook his head and spoke softly telling him it was a misunderstanding and he had better return to his position. The mob mentality of the crowd escalated and I felt as if I were in the scene with Quasimodo in the square in the Hunchback of Notre Dame where everyone realizes that's his real face and begins to throw produce at him. But we had no Esmeralda to save our Quasimodo.

"WHAT IS THE UPROAR?" A voice came over the crowd as a feline looking man came into view wearing a black tux with tails. The games master and the Hulk looked scared. People shouted what had happened out to him from every direction, his eyes widening and glancing at Rose who was still frozen between Jasper and I then back to the Hulk. His voice was barely a whisper when he spoke next. "Is what they say true?"

"It was a misunderstanding Master. We were wrong about the rules is all, no harm done." The games master was stuttering as he spoke, the Hulk seemed to have shrunk in size as he hunched over and tried to avoid eye contact.

The boss stepped closer to the shrinking Hulk and asked again. The Hulk made a tiny noise and nodded as the feline man exhaled slowly and again looked at us. Something in his eye as he looked at Rose didn't sit well with me. "Emmett, go where you need to, I will be there shortly." The Hulk looked at Rose one more time, tears beginning to fall and walked away through the crowd and behind the Big Top. Not even an hour at the circus and there had already been so much excitement. It was as if trouble followed us.

The feline man approached us with open arms. "Please forgive Emmett, he is simple, a pet of sorts who must have misunderstood the wager. I am James Laurent. My father owns the circus. Please accept our apologies for the inconvenience." He bowed his head humbly. Well that explained the tux; he was the owner's son. I allowed myself a closer inspection; his smile looked as if it was a permanent glare. His eyes seems to hide malicious secrets only he knew, he was creepy. To top it off, he referred to the Hulk as a pet, a simpleton, but now we knew, Emmett as he called him, was one of the Carney's.

"No harm done, but now with the delay we will hardly be able to watch the show." Rose had regained her wits but made no effort to change her position.

"Well then, allow me to make amends as well, if you'll follow me into the Big Top, I invite you to sit in my personal boxed area. You will feel you are inside the action." Rose nodded and we followed James past the ticket vendors and the still remaining crowds under the umbrella of gold and red.

I took in everything as we were led to a private seating area down centre with two rows of five seats each sectioned off. James motioned for us to take a seat signaling he would return.

"Can you believe this, wow!" Rose's eyes danced as I saw what she saw. There were three circles in front of us. A larger one in the very centre of the tent and two smaller circles outlines at opposite ends within the bigger one. There were balls and hula hoops lying in various areas. Clowns rode around on unicycles while in the centre of the ring a fire eater blew large flames in circles. There were no nets but a trapeze of varying levels could be seen anchored above us. There was a pillow of sashes in the very centre of the ceiling at the very top of the highest tip of the tent looking a bit out of place in it's pale blue color among all the gold and red. The fire eater made his exit as James returned to his seat fifteen minutes later nodding to us again, his gaze lingering on Rose when the lights began to dim and spotlights began to roam the room with the heavy beat of the music being cued. My eyes were drawn to the centre of the ring where a figure stood standing shrouded in shadow. I leaned in instinctively. I could tell it was a girl. The only parts of her fully illuminated were the black thigh high stilettos she wore. The music swelled louder as the show began.

_there's only two types of people in the world  
the ones that entertain  
and the ones that observe_

_well baby I'm a put-on-a-show kinda girl  
don't like the backseat  
gotta be first_

I watched as the action exploded around the girl while she sang and played to the crowd. She could be seen clearly now wearing those stiletto boots with a gold foil miniskirt with a red sequined top that looked like a vest. She had also put on a top hat. She was the ring leader it would seem. I lost myself watching everything unfold.

The clowns were back on the unicycles doing tricks and circles on one side of her while the fire eaters were performing their own act in another section all while she continued to sing.

_I'm like the ringleader  
I call the shots  
I'm like a fire cracker  
I make it hot  
when I put on a show_

She was conducting the acts now like the song suggested, all the performers pausing to give each other a moment spotlight while she continued to conduct them like they were her personal orchestra.

The performance struck me as such, it was a musical composition, each note placed just so to draw that perfect reaction. You were left in wonder as your eyes were directed above to the taste of trapeze as lithe bodies flipped at least fifty feet in the air with no safeties.

_all eyes on me in the center of the ring  
just like a circus  
when I crack that whip, everybody gonna trip  
just like a circus  
don't stand there watching me  
follow me, show me what you can do  
everybody let go, we can make a dance floor  
just like a circus_

The tent had gone completely dark and when the lights returned the ringleader was now flicking a whip while surrounded by two very real mountain lions. I was on the edge of my seat, something in me wanting to run to the centre and pull her from harms way as they growled and stalked around her.

The song ended and the lions were commanded to lie down which they did. The whip never left her hands. Once the applause from the opening died down including our own enthusiastic clapping she spoke.

"Welcome to the Circus! Allow me to introduce myself; I am your ringleader Nights Belladonna. I do hope you are prepared for a night of wonder and magic." As she spoke, she readied hoops and flames no doubt for the tricks the lions would be doing.

"Anything can happen here." Her voice fluctuated with each announcement. "You may encounter romance." Rose petals flew down around us from an unknown location as the patrons tried to locate the source. "You'll see beauty, but you will also meet the beasts."

She cracked the whip and the lions jumped to growl. "SAHARA! SAVANNAH!" The next 15 minutes my eyes were glued as she bantered with the crowd and had the lions eating out of her hands. I was sure no one could see her as I could in these seats, only twenty five feet from her. She was beautiful, and her name was starting to haunt me.

Nights Belladonna. The Lion Tamer.

The trapeze was next and each time I glanced at my companions each of our eyes were glowing. They flipped and walked ropes with umbrellas and riding bikes.

"What was that Pirolit?" Nights Belladonna was talking to a clown that kept interfering with each performance, interacting with her audience play. There were even times someone from the audience would be pulled to participate.

"There is a grizzly loose in the arena, oh no, that won't do with all these people. What do we do, we need to protect them." Pirolit the clown shrugged and comedically visibly started shivering like he was shaking in his boots.

"I know Pirolit, we shall just have to find something to scare the bear, but where shall we find such a monstrosity." Pirolit whispered in her ear and she lowered her voice as if they were sharing a secret for their ears only. "You don't say, there lives a beast here of that magnitude. No surely such a horror does not exist and not so close." Pirolit talked to her ear again. With no warning there was a loud angry bear in the ring and she was cowering with Pirolit when the Hulk came into the ring as well to the collective gasp of the audience. It was as if he had become even more deformed in the hour since we had seen him. He stared the bear down and a cage was lowered over them both and they began to fight. My gaze drifted to the side of the ring where Nights Belladonna was watching with what looked like fear in her eyes. She saw this all the time didn't she?

The bear was beat and cleared from the stage as Nights Belladonna and Pirolit continued their interactions drawing us all in more and more. The clowns were back picking on Pirolit, the fire eaters were even more daring if that is possible, the elephant walkers made their appearance and I knew the show would be closing soon.

"Well Pirolit, it would seem the show has come to a close." He gestured wildly at the ceiling. "Yes I imagine it is a beautiful night, have you been watching the lights." Pirolit nodded enthusiastically and kept looking up.

A low haunting song began. "There aren't many who can resist the allure of Aurora BoreeAlice." The sheets of blue came undone with such a speed and a body was hurtling down to the floor. Another collective gasp was heard as silence overtook the crowd watching as a real life fairy began to fly amongst us.

A sprite of a woman with black hair and sparkles in a light blue dress wrapped herself in the pale blue silk climbing and doing death drops, wrapping her arms so she could soar above us. It was the most enchanting surreal performance of the evening. It was a perfect ending. When she was done she didn't take a bow or acknowledge her performance but simply wrapped herself back to the heavens of the tent.

"Thank you for joining us this evening and be sure to visit again, remember nothing is ever the same twice at the circus." I was already thinking about when we could come back, the circus would only be in town for two weeks. At least this was the first night, I hate to think if I had come later and had to realize I had missed time here.

I watched Nights Belladonna leave the stage for the final time and could feel the air of sadness she seemed to carry with her. It wasn't enough to watch the show. I had to meet her. I snuck a look at my friends and noticed Jasper's eyes still glued to the pale blue silk that held an Earth bound fairy. I touched his shoulder to get his attention and saw the same resolve in his eyes as I was sure was in mine.

"James," the feline turned to us. "Is there any way we can possibly meet the performers?" His face clouded over quickly before he resumed his façade.

"No I am afraid not. They do not like to socialize with the locals, it breaks their concentration, but I do hope you enjoyed the show and will join us again." He directed the last comment at Rose who was only just standing. He took her hand and kissed it while she smiled her trademark smile.

"I'm sure you will." She winked at me when James turned his back and left.

We walked in silence until we had left the grounds, all stunned by the beauty and wonder of the night as well as longing for the privacy from listening ears.

"Rose, you have to stay away from that guy, there is something off about it." Jasper was shaken from his thoughts long enough to agree with me.

"Boys, you know I can take care of myself, I was actually thinking that if I kept the boss boy busy, you might have a chance at meeting a certain Lion Tamer," she pointedly looked at me, "and a certain Acrobatic Tinkerbelle." She pointedly looked at Jasper.

Yes, we were that transparent. "Alright, but if anything weird happens at all," I warned her, "we play it safe, something just seems off you know." We all nodded. Something had struck us but we couldn't place it and I knew that tonight I would be dreaming of a new Night.

As we drove away I could swear I heard howling and crying with steel clanging coming from the circus grounds.

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**A/N: Ok so this is the first chapter, remember please review to let me know to continue or not. **


	2. The Carnies

**A/N: I am thrilled over the initial reaction to the story. I have almost surpassed my last story in reviews already. Oh and can I please tell you how difficult it is to find a bloody white Nintendo DS system, apparently it is discontinued and everywhere is sold out of the DS anyway. Rant over.**

**Special Mentions: Thank you to Meghaja, SaveTheWolvesOfLaPush, ShadowRichardson, lipgloss chick and Alasiel for their reviews and adding me on alert.**

**Disclaimer: If you know it, I don't own it but damn it's fun to play with!**

**Remember please please review!**

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_The Carnies_

They call us Carnies. They were right of course. We worked for the circus which is the very definition of a Carnie, but you knew they were implying much worse when they used the word from the sneer that often accompanied it. _They_ were of course the local townspeople. It didn't matter which town either, though from the sign I saw as we made our way to the circus site this morning, the town this time around was Seattle.

It seemed no matter where we went that word was synonymous with the sneer. When they said Carnie they meant it to be an insult and images of retarded society rejects would flood the mind. Slow simple minded people who had been born with an anomaly that would make them different and an outcast from the rest of the world. The only thing retarded was how the public had perverted their minds about who we were.

I heard the jangle of the keys as the doors were unlocked. The caravan had stopped so it was time to get to work. The tents would have to be up before daybreak so all the townsfolk could begin to feel the frenzy of excitement that came with a traveling circus, or so I've been told.

The circus is the only life I have ever known. I was born part of the circus to parents I no longer remembered. Mr. Laurent, the owner, had told me they ran off together, sick of the responsibility of being parents having had me so young. I was twelve. Ten years had passed since then with the anniversary of them leaving approaching in the next week. It had also been my birthday.

People sometimes asked what it was like to grow up in the circus and the truth was I couldn't really remember much about that either. Instead I was left to rely on the stories told by those of us who had been here longest, but even that number had begun to dwindle as more people grew tired of the life and left us in the night without notice.

Uncle Quil had been one of those people. He had always been my main source of information telling me about the midnight barbeques and dances all the Carnies would hold and how the performers would do tricks for us circus children. We would still get together like that now and then when we had a particular good show and the Laurent's would reward us but Uncle Quil would gripe how it was not nearly the same as it had been. Our parties had been part of our way of life, how we interacted, they were not meant to be held ransom as reward for a job well done. He liked to talk a lot about life before the Laurent's became the owners.

When my parents had gone, he had taken me under his wing, made sure I was educated along with the other children. He felt he owed it to my parents to make sure I was taken care of. He had never believed the story about my parents leaving but would remain tight lipped when I asked for another explanation. It shouldn't have come as a shock when I heard he too had left us, he had been griping more than usual about the old days lately, but to not come say goodbye to me stung.

I suppose this was why I took such offense to the way people perceived us _Carnies_. We weren't ogres or disabled. Our social dynamic was no different than a regular functioning group of people, we had leaders, we had followers, we had academics and we had artists. We were a microcosm of the bigger picture and at the very core, we were family or at least that was how I chose to see things. It got me through the day.

"Bella, stop dawdling and get out here. We only have two hours to first light." James stood in the open door. He stood watching as I put on my second sweater and tucked all my hair under my tuque. I shivered as I felt his eyes follow my body, starting at my legs working upwards. How he could manage to appraise me while I was wearing sweats was beyond me. I hated to think what image he had concocted in his smarmy mind. He smiled and moved aside leaving a gap in the door just large enough for me to squeeze through ensuring I would have to rub against him to exit. I heard low growling and turned back with a stern face. The growling stopped and James smiled wider. His sense of entitlement baffled me. It didn't matter that he was the owner's son when he was surrounded by people who loathed him with the ability to control potentially violent animals. We had mountain lions, bears and elephants, and a whole lot of people who would turn a blind eye.

"I'll have a new costume for you in your dressing room tonight." I shudder to think what this getup would look like; the last one was hot pants and a crop top with tassels covering my midriff. Our costumer had apologized profusely for having made it. It took days to assure her I wasn't angry, I knew she didn't have a choice. It had taken a few more days to calm Emmett down though. I only hoped we didn't have a repeat of those days when he saw a new costume. It was always the same routine when James was involved. James would antagonize us in some way, Emmett would be ready to beat him and I would have to calm him down. I couldn't help but smile thinking of my sweet overprotective brother.

Things had at least been bearable before James joined us permanently, having previously only come around for small two week visits while on holiday from the boarding school he attended. We all managed to stay in good spirits and enjoy the work we did but James had changed all that. Mr. Laurent had decided to take his retirement leaving James completely in charge. It was no wonder that the elders had decided to move on since he had become a permanent fixture with his innovative ideas. He had changed our costumes, the music, slowly eliminating a lot of the whimsy that made us magical.

I walked quickly away from James and made my way over to the main staging area where the Big Top would stand. We all knew our roles and it took each one of us for the set up to run smoothly. We were like a well oiled machine. There was now just less than two hours to turn the barren field I now stood in into a wonderland. I laughed at myself as I spotted Alice while I thought of wonderland.

I got into position and grabbed a bracing wire as we circled the Big Top ready to pull the stabilizing posts upwards lifting the tent tarp into place. Someone counted us all off and fifty people all pulled in unison lifting the massive structure to its peak. Emmett made his way over to everyone in turn to hammer the pegs into the ground as a final measure to keep it standing. He smiled when he got to me and I laid my hand on his scarred face.

"How does that saying go? A face only a mother could love? Or in this case, I guess it would be sister right? It's like he gets uglier every day." I took several deep breathes as I gathered my composure before turning around to face the harpy who seemed to want to start her day with fighting words. "I'd love to say I hate breaking up the touching moment that screams incest, but my arm is getting tired holding this tent. Hurry it up Quasimodo." Victoria had taken to calling Emmett the name of the popular hunchback for his deformity. When I had said we were like a big family, it did not include Victoria.

She was the newest to our band of misfits having joined just six months earlier. She was an elephant walker, wow I was so impressed. She could make an elephant stand on its hind legs, which was the extent of her talent and role here. Emmett sighed lightly and continued around the circle finally relieving Victoria of her position. It took everything in me to hold my tongue and not bite back at her. I felt Emmett's hand on my shoulder silently asking me to calm down. I let out the breath I had been holding and felt my face start to go back to normal from the purple it had started to turn in anger.

"Victoria, may I see you a moment." James leaned out the door of his trailer with his button shirt opened to his jeans. I amended my earlier thoughts; elephant walking was her role here on stage, off stage she played with a very different type of animal. We all knew to be cautious with our words should there be a chance she might hear us. The last thing we needed was to be the fodder of their pillow talk. James eyes met mine for a moment in an intense gaze before closing the door behind them as they disappeared together into his bat cave. I had never seen the inside of James' trailer and hoped I never would. It was odd though; there were times where I could swear James looked like he was trying to keep me out purposely even though I knew very well that he would have loved to have me inside. I didn't let musings such as these plaque my brain for very long.

We made quick work of the rest of the tents and concessions areas. First light was just stretching over the horizon when we all met in a circle around a bonfire that had been lit. It was tradition the first morning of a new location after set up for the entire company to spend some time together before we broke for practice. It was also perfect timing since we all knew James and Victoria would be otherwise occupied. Some of the musicians would pull out their guitars and we would have sing-a-longs while watching the sunrise drinking sweet hot apple cider. It was also a time I was able to observe our little company in silence. I could see a glimpse of what things must have been like before during this time but I could still not remember if it was imagination or my mind chasing a memory just out of reach.

My internal monologue moved on to thoughts of my brother as I spied him playing with the children and my heart swelled. He dwarfed them all standing at 6'4" and thick, his curly hair a mess as he chased after them, his brown eyes sparkling. He was the muscle of the circus and he was a good worker. Emmett didn't speak much, but it was wise to listen when he did have something to say. People thought him to be slow, but I chose to believe my brother was just more innocent than the rest of us. I longed to be able to see the world through the eyes of a child as he did.

I had heard some stories of when we were younger together but I had trouble connecting the Emmett from the stories to the man I saw everyday. Uncle Quil had told me he changed the day my parents left but I couldn't remember what he used to be like. There was so much I didn't know or remember, including how my brother ended up so scarred on his beautiful face. There were some old pictures of us together that showed a handsome young man whom you could tell would have grown to be a ruggedly handsome fellow. He should have had to be beating woman off with a stick and instead, they looked like they would like to beat him with one when he was near. To _them_, he was _their_ definition of a Carnie. This was also what made me smile seeing him play with the children. He wasn't a monster to them; he was just a great big teddy bear to play with.

I wasn't sure what Emmett remembered about _before_, it was how I had started to refer to the time when my parents were still here. We didn't talk about before with each other. The only indication I had that he might remember was just last week when he told me how much I had started to look like our mother. I had stared at my reflection for an hour that day trying to see if I could see her, see a different person in the mirror. There were no pictures of my parents for me to compare.

If I were to go by Emmett's statement my mother had been about 5'4" with long chestnut brown hair that she wore falling to her waist with streaks of red in sunlight. Her eyes must have been a deep chocolate brown and her face must have been heart shaped with a natural red flush. Her lips must have been pouty and uneven and she must have had a slender build. At times I would try to imagine another woman with that description that could be my mother but in the end all I saw was me.

A small delicate hand appeared holding a cup of cider that I gratefully accepted. The morning chill had just begun to set in being the beginning of September and the warmth from the mug was wonderfully welcome. Alice took a seat beside me quietly understanding I needed this time.

We called Alice the pixie for her short stature, standing 4'8". She has short black hair that she tended to wear spiked all over and she was the definition of cute with her fairylike features. She was a walking Tinkerbelle.

It was part of our draw that we liked to change the show nightly adding new attractions that may have been in the outside tents some nights or some of the performers who had a second talent would decide to do something different for an evening. Alice was one of these performers. She was a contortionist but her tiny frame allowed her to also perform flying acrobatics which is what she always chose to do opening night.

If there was anyone who had as mysterious a beginning as I in our circus, it was Alice. We were the same age we knew, but that was where the information we had about Alice ended. Her parents had left her swaddled in blankets on the steps of the circus when she was four with a note stating she belonged with us. She had been so cute from what I saw of the pictures of us together, almost half the size of a true four year old. I was told it was my parents who had decided to take her in and that from the beginning Emmett and I welcomed her as our sister. Alice took my parents leaving hardest; after all, they had chosen to keep her and then chose to leave her, it was worse than knowing your birth parents didn't want you she had once told me. As a result Alice had severe self confidence issues and constantly feared abandonment. She clung to Emmett and me not daring get close to anyone after that. Alice and I never talked about _before_ either, but it was because neither of us remembered.

"We should get some practice in before we are run over with curious eyes." Alice was right. It was best to run through a routine in the morning before the locals started poking their noses around.

"I have a new costume tonight. Do you know if you have one?" Alice looked down as we stood and started walking back to our quarters. She always tended to look down, afraid of the world, it broke my heart. She had no idea how beautiful she was and how wanted she was by a lot of the men in our company. Emmett had already had to lay a few smacks around. I chose to not think about how many may have been needed on my behalf. I knew I was desired as well, James made himself quite clear in that area.

"I don't know, _he_ was too busy to be around." I nodded as we broke up, this was the routine. We would find each other again two hours before show time where Alice would fix my makeup and hair for the Big Top.

The great thing about being a travelling circus was that in two weeks we would have new people to entertain. There was less pressure to make many new routines to keep the public interested. We had enough for a two week period and then we could leave and start over again. From time to time we would design something new to make it more fun but that would only happen maybe three or four times a year where we introduced a new act.

No one can really pinpoint when they become a performer in the circus, our whole way of being is circular. Usually it started with a circus couple, a man and woman who would come together in companionship that would turn to love, sometimes they would marry, often times they did not since we never travelled with a minister and we were wary of outsiders in our world. Then they would have children who would grow up helping in any little thing around the grounds, sometimes cleaning up after the locals, sometimes painting the props, whatever needed to be done. As they got older they would start to help the performers with prepping their acts, usually their parents, and they would learn the craft at the same time. The original circus couple will age and their protégés will take stage one day in their place and from that point on, they became the performers. The mentors would then take place in the company as concessions and costumers to prop builders, keeping us going in other ways until one day they left us whether by choice or by death. We had buried many in our travels.

Uncle Quil had been the Lion Tamer, and so have I become. My babies had been with me since they were cubs, Sahara and Savannah. They were no ordinary lions though, they were mountain lions, and as such being a more wild breed were much more dangerous but they were my girls and I loved them. They had been a gift from Uncle Quil who had helped breed them. We had animal trainers we contacted who bred for us when we required it. An animal would join us as a new performer came to start training so they could build their own bonds. When the new performer took stage the older animals were returned to our trainers to live the remainder of their lives in peace.

I opened their cage where they were laying and knelt between them running my hand gently down their backs, such soft creatures. They purred in love.

"Come on girls, one quick run." They lifted themselves onto their paws and followed me to the large tent. I used no whip in practice now as the girls earned a break from it for jobs well done. The whip was for show, it was no more needed to command them than it would be needed for a household dog. Alice had already been in and gone I could tell as her performance silk was being attached to the top of the tent. She would never use her good silk in practice, she would take one practice swing with them right before securing herself for the show but otherwise used special swatches for rehearsal only. This prevented the performance silk from becoming overused and pulled. Her color this evening would be pale blue. She must have escaped the gift of a new costume then as I could picture the flowing body suit she would wear to match these sashes. It would appear as if she were floating in the air the way the sash and her costume would blend.

I gained focus and had the girls first run the circle of the Big Top at full speed for twenty laps to get them some good exercise and then started through our tricks, not bothering with the flamed ring as well. I'd use the whip and flames in practice maybe once a month but the show piece was enough for the girls to know that I was the Master. We broke once for lunch right in the Big Top, just the girls and I and began anew. I liked to keep them active since it was required outside of the show and practice they remain in the cage. My practice always ran longest and before I knew it, it was time to go get dressed with Alice. It was time to become Nights Belladonna and Aurora BoreeAlice, our stage personas. The names were ripe filled with hidden jokes and memory. They were perfect for us.

I felt my adrenaline start as it did with each show while I closed the girls in their cage where they would stay until needed and made my way to Alice. I stood at the edge of the door, watching her dance around as she put on her eye liner, her face a mess of sparkles already. She smiled as she caught sight of me in the mirror. She had softened the spikes of her hair to soft waves. Her blue dress hanging next to what I could only guess was my new costume.

I took in the red sequined vest and gold foil mini skirt. "Well at least he sticks to the right colors." Alice winked at me.

"That wasn't your costume." I looked at her with question. "Your costume was even smaller, that is what I had Margarethe change it to when you told me he had something for you." I ran over to hug my little sister.

"I don't want to know what it was, I never want to see it, but…" my face was solemn, "you know he will be angry, how did you plan on diffusing that."

"Simple, and don't kill me, but we had to trade it off somehow." I arched my eyebrow, and then laughed as she grabbed a pair of thigh high leather stiletto boots and put them under the gold skirt. "He will forget all about the costume when you have these on." I nodded, she was right. Ok, I could live with this.

Alice made quick work of my hair and makeup before shooing me to get dressed. I was just getting the last boot on when I heard the commotion.

"BELLA! BELLA!" One of the clowns Seth came running into our dressing room. "You have to come quickly, it's Emmett." I grabbed my top hat and we took off running to the animal cages with Seth in the lead and Alice at my heels. I could hear someone yelling and distinguished the voice as James as we neared. I turned the last corner and my stomach jumped into my throat.

"When will you learn you retarded idiot." Everyone had circled watching the scene unfold doing nothing as James cracked a riding crop at Emmett's face again, focusing on his existing scars. The blood had already begun to run.

"James please," I cried out and went to Emmett's side before James could hit him again. His arm lowered as he saw he lost a clear shot with me embracing my brother.

"Bella. It seems your brother," James nearly spit the words, "hasn't learned a thing from the last time. He approached the crowd and caused a particular young lady a deathly scare when he tried to take advantage of her. It was all I could do to calm her down and keep her from laying charges on him." I knew he was exaggerating, Emmett was harmless. I needed to get him alone to hear the truth. "There will be repercussions for his actions this evening and Emmett with fight the bear on the main stage." I gasped, he was already so hurt and he was going to have him fight the bear. James took pleasure in causing us both pain by having Emmett wrestle a grizzly whenever he had 'misbehaved' in James' eyes.

"James please, you've already whipped him, please do not make him fight the bear." I pleaded with him, trying to appeal to any small shred of decency.

"Bella," James stepped within my space and lifted my chin so I was looking at his face. "You know what it takes to get Emmett out of the fight. Just say the word." Emmett answered for me. His gruff voice full of emotion, I could tell he was holding his anger in check.

"Bear." He grasped me around the waist and lifted me as far from James as he could manage. Always the protector, he would risk bodily harm to himself to keep me out of the clutches of James. It was only through the intervention of Emmett that Alice and I were still virgins. God help any man who tried to get near us including James.

"Get ready for stage, show starts in ten minutes." James left to get back to his seat in the Big Top. I had little time to bandage Emmett. Alice left to swiftly get into position. She would be wrapped in her silk sashes for the whole two hours until it was her cue to fall. I had once asked her what she did while she was waiting. She told me she could watch the show or she would just nap. She was comfortable in her cocoon.

Emmett winced as I removed the bandages from the last beating and the alcohol stung his open wounds. Some were deep and would add to the scars already lining his face. "Oh Emmett, what happened." He looked at me wide eyed full of sorrow. "You know you aren't allowed to interact with the public. I can't take having to watch you fight that bear, sometimes I wish you would just let me deal with James, it can't be that bad." Emmett grabbed my hands roughly, his eyes had hardened.

"Never." So I would have to endure another evening of watching my family brutalized. I knew James had gone to beat the bear after Emmett, he always did to get the grizzly even more worked up and more dangerous. His eyes softened and he looked down allowing me to finish with the bandages. "She's beautiful, she promised a kiss to anyone who could win the Strong Man." I smiled as I shook my head.

"And you couldn't resist." He smiled sheepishly and for a moment I saw that handsome boy in those pictures I treasured. He shook his head. "Oh sweetie, we'll find you a nice girl, but we'll find her right here Emmett, people outside don't understand us circus folk. We are _different_ to them. You need someone who understands us." There were times I had wished that Alice and Emmett would have gotten together but they had never seen each other as more than siblings. "Come on, I have to get in position." I led Emmett to his position back stage where he would wait until his act came on. I was dreading it already but Alice had been right about James being too distracted to notice my costume switch. Too bad it wasn't the boots that caused the distraction.

Everyone and everything was in place for the grand opening. The spotlights had begun their circling giving me my cue to stand centre stage. The music began to swell and I was on. At least I liked the song, it was one I had written. When James had decided to give the music a facelift, I had practically begged him to allow me to do some writing before he made any decisions so I could try to bridge the old and the new. I was slightly grateful he had accepted what I had come up with.

I risked a look at his private seating area and was blown away. The first person I noticed was a man with bronze hair who was leaning towards the stage, his eyes taking in everything. He was beautiful. Next to him were another man and a girl, both blonde and stunning. I knew the lights were no where near my face hiding my appraisal. The girl must have been the one that had grabbed Emmett's attention. He seemed to have a thing for blondes. It must be due to the fact that most of us in the circus were dark with gypsy features. I'd have to ask him but he hadn't been lying, she was astonishing. I could see why he risked the beating for a chance to possibly kiss her. My eyes roamed back to the bronze haired spectator. He would most likely star in my fantasies tonight. I'd have to ask Alice if she noticed them. I glanced upward and relaxed when I could make out her tiny form in the sashes. I was never fully ready until I could tell Alice was in position. Here goes nothing.

_there's only two types of people in the world  
the ones that entertain  
and the ones that observe_

_well baby I'm a put-on-a-show kinda girl  
don't like the backseat  
gotta be first_

I played to the audience as I sang motioning to the performers on the word entertain, and the audience on the word observe. I started to move and dance, slowly putting on my top hat as I got to the chorus. The clowns and fire eaters doing their intros around me.

_I'm like the ringleader  
I call the shots  
I'm like a fire cracker  
I make it hot  
when I put on a show_

I acted as a conductor as one by one the pre selected performers did their intros, giving a small taste of what was to come. The trapeze was currently on display and that meant my girls and I were next. While the lights were off I had grabbed my whip and my lions had joined me on stage.

_all eyes on me in the center of the ring  
just like a circus  
when I crack that whip, everybody gonna trip  
just like a circus  
don't stand there watching me  
follow me, show me what you can do  
everybody let go, we can make a dance floor  
just like a circus_

"Welcome to the Circus! Allow me to introduce myself; I am your ringleader Nights Belladonna. I do hope you are prepared for a night of wonder and magic." I readied my props for my act as I spoke, there would be flames of course.

"Anything can happen here." I tried to draw everyone in with my words. "You may encounter romance." I saw the rose petals fall from the ceiling with everyone trying to find where they were coming from. Was it so hard to see the clowns in the rafters throwing them. "You'll see beauty, but you will also meet the beasts."

I cracked the whip to get the girls riled and they started growling. "SAHARA! SAVANNAH!" I continued amusing and entertaining for the next 15 minutes. The girls and I knew the routine like the back of our hands.

The trapeze was next and then Seth and I would begin our interaction as he took on his character of Pirolit. He played a silent clown that acted much like Dopey from Snow White. We bantered back and forth and he would grab people from the audience randomly to try and include them. If only there were a way to get that bronze haired man closer so I could see if he was as beautiful as he seemed or if it was a trick of the magic inside the tent and before I knew it we were where I dreaded most.

"What was that Pirolit? There is a grizzly loose in the arena, oh no, that won't do with all these people. What do we do, we need to protect them." Seth shrugged and comedically visibly started shivering like he was shaking in his boots.

"I know Pirolit, we shall just have to find something to scare the bear, but where shall we find such a monstrosity." Pirolit whispered in my ear and I lowered my voice as if we were sharing a secret. "You don't say, there lives a beast here of that magnitude. No surely such a horror does not exist and not so close." Seth and I made as if to cower when the bear was let into the ring and I could tell he was more than agitated tonight. Emmett came in not far behind him and he and the bear stared each other down as a cage was lowered on them to contain their fight. I couldn't bear to watch but had to as I was still on stage. It took everything in me to not cringe every time the bear would get a swipe at Emmett. I was near tears when it finally ended and Emmett was the victor. I wondered how many times he would be so lucky. He wasn't a superhero, there was no special power he had to keep him safe and one day I knew he wouldn't be.

I composed myself as they cleared the bear from the stage and Seth and I continued our evening. The clowns were next with the fire eaters again and then the elephant walker. I still didn't understand that performance at all, big whoop you can walk on an elephant. The show was drawing to a close which meant there was time for one more act.

"Well Pirolit, it would seem the show has come to a close." Seth gestured wildly at the ceiling. "Yes I imagine it is a beautiful night, have you been watching the lights." He nodded enthusiastically and kept looking up.

My second song began, a low haunting melody that was written especially for my sister. "There aren't many who can resist the allure of Aurora BoreeAlice." The sheets of blue came undone with speed as Alice was released from her cocoon above us all and danced and flew above the crowds. She was mesmerizing, a true creature from wonderland. In true Alice fashion when she was done she took no accolades instead escaping to her cocoon above.

"Thank you for joining us this evening and be sure to visit again, remember nothing is ever the same twice at the circus." The show was ended and when the lights dimmed once more we all hastily made our exit so not to be in the tent as the people left.

I went to check on Emmett first. He had already re-bandaged himself and offered me a hug muttering an apology in my ear for earlier. I smoothed a hand on his face again to let him know there was nothing to be sorry for.

"Well another show done, good job everyone, now as you know, there was an incident earlier so everyone to their quarters, there will be no merriment this evening." James ushered everyone inside for the evening. If one of us was punished then all of us were punished as well. If only anyone knew.

He came up behind me. "Bella." He motioned for me to go inside. The growling began again as Sahara and Savannah stood and started pacing the cage. I stepped inside and took a seat between them as James looked on. "You know I hate doing this Bella, you could be better than this."

"Lock the door James." He sighed as he locked the door on the cage containing my lions and me and moved on to the cage next to me where Alice waited patiently, her small hand having found its way through the bars to me so that I might hold it. We would endure this night's punishment as we had other nights without complaint.

This was why we were family, because everyone in the company took to their cages with no fight, all of us banded together in defiance against this one tyrant in support of one of our own. No one would blame Emmett in the morning for this and we would go on as we always had.


	3. There's Something About Alice

**A/N: So the response to this has really been overwhelming. **

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed and put me on alert. I sadly have to give up on something I enjoyed doing which is giving everyone a personal mention.**

**I truly appreciate everyone reading but I got so many more reviews and people putting me on alert than expected that I would feel horrible if I forgot someone. **

**So… thank you all again and Happy Reading.**

**You'll also notice the rating has been changed to M since the violence level has increased. Don't want any youngin's reading without being warned.**

**BTW… for anyone who cared, I got a white Nintendo DS. My brother in law is the most awesome man ever for finding it for me.**

**Disclaimer: If you know it, I don't own it but damn it's fun to play with!**

**Please please review, the more I get the more I want to write.**

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There's Something About Alice

Wide doe like eyes eluded me all night. It was as if I drifted in and out of pleasant consciousness. I never wanted to wake. In my sleep land she waited for me in a short gold skirt and red sequined vest. She sat with those shapely legs crossed, in those killer thigh high stilettos. Her long brown hair flowing down her back, I smiled, she had stripper hair. Did I mention she was holding the whip? I wasn't usually into the whole dominatrix idea but I would be more than willing to give it a try _for her._

_Edward_ she would call to me in that siren's voice. It was as if the dream had seared her image and her voice into my every being. I was infused with her essence, and my need for her continued to grow. She was an enigma, much like a siren calling to me from across time and space to lead me into our eternity. It was as if a part of me had been awakened, a part of me which until now had lain dormant waiting for her.

The dream began at twilight. I was standing before the circus gates and curiously the tiny fairy dancer was there. "We've been waiting for you," she'd told me and took my hand in her tiny one leading me inside. The circus was barren and the faint sigh of my name could be heard on the wind. I turn to follow the voice when the pixie stops me. "Not yet, first you have to see," and she leads me deeper into the circus grounds. Bits of the show are playing now on each side of me as I walk the grounds with her, the trapeze artists on the left, the clowns on the right, that Pirolit guy running in circles. I see the Hulk stalking about, as I walk past he looks at me curiously and I am shocked once more at the scars that rule his face.

We finally reach a tent and the angel's voice is singing a song I don't recognize. The entrance guarded by two fierce looking lions. They size me up before relaxing and allowing passage. The pixie drops my hand. "I'll take you no further." She dances away as you imagine a fairy might. Inside the tent is the centre stage of the Big Top and in the middle is my divinity living, waiting for me, calling my name, and holding that damn whip.

I started awake with a groan. I had woken like this twice already in the night only to fall asleep and once again have the same dream. It would always end before I got to be near her. I would see her there waiting and when I make a move to step towards her, I would jolt awake. I glanced at the clock that was glowing red, it was 8:00am and it finally registered in my head that my cell phone was ringing.

"Morning!" She was too chipper for this time of the morning.

"Rose." I groaned half into my pillow, half into the phone while I flipped onto my stomach. "Too early."

"But I'm making pancakes. If you don't want to come over for breakfast then…"

"Five minutes." She giggled as I hung up and picked myself up out of bed. I would have said two minutes but I needed a few to calm the morning wood the thoughts of my dark goddess that had lingered. I was going to have to stop thinking of her if I expected to get out of here.

Once my body had calmed itself I started downstairs. I didn't even bother to shower, change or even brush my teeth. I was going to the Hales, there was no one to impress there. Rose was used to seeing Jasper and I at our very worst, this would be an improvement. It was unbelievably a perk that they lived right next store especially when Rose was cooking and Rose made great pancakes.

My mother was sat on the couch flipping channels as I continued my zombie march. She smiled at me as I passed and waved wordlessly.

"Rose made pancakes?" I simply nodded and went on my way.

I smiled to myself as I caught the first tickles of pancake smell as I neared the front door. I walked straight to the breakfast bar of the kitchen and squatted next to Jasper who was also patiently waiting for his stack of morning goodness. We nodded to each other in acknowledgement but stayed focused on the growing stack of golden dollars near the stovetop as Rose bustled about. I stole a quick look at my friend and was surprised to see dark circles under his normally visibly well rested eyes.

"Problems sleeping man?" He looked at me and nodded. His elbows on the counter, he brought his hands to his forehead and ran his fingers through his hair. It was classic nervous Jasper. "What is it, what happened, I left you eight hours ago, you can't tell me something happened." He let out a breath as Rose started laughing.

"Oh he is fine, I think he is blowing this way out of proportion."

"Blowing what out of proportion?"

"He was kept awake all night by a wittle dweam." Rose mocked her brother in a cutesy voice as she cleaned the last of the kitchen bringing the steaming hot cakes to us at the counter and taking a seat herself.

"Well what was the dream?"

"He dreamt about the little sprite flier." Jasper shot Rose a dirty look as he cut her off.

"Seriously Rose, fuck off, you don't get it."

"Will someone please fill me in?" Rose stayed silent as Jasper told his story.

"I had a dream about that girl from the circus." I started to feel a flare of jealousy until I remembered Rose has said the fairy like flier was the girl he had dreamt about. Without thinking I told him I had too. The look on his face was priceless and under normal circumstances I would have laughed but I was shocked to see how, pissed Jasper was at that.

"Hold on a moment there cowboy, not like that, she was just in my dream about the Lion Tamer, she was leading me around the circus. What was yours?"

"I went into a, I don't know, I guess it was a tent where she was sitting and she just looked at me and said 'You've kept me waiting a long time.' I don't know how to put it all into words." He had a calm smile on his face while he shared his dream. "So you dreamed too?" He had turned his attention to me. I nodded again as I took a bite and noticed that Rose had grown uncomfortable and was fidgeting. We knew each other well enough.

"Rose, what was your dream?" I asked her.

She stopped fidgeting and looked down as the attention turned to her. Jasper wasn't surprised in the slightest and just waited for her to answer. "That big Carnie guy, what was his name again, the one with the scars."

"Emmett right, that's what James called him?" Jasper had a detailed oriented mind; it allowed him to remember the most insignificant details.

"It was odd though, in my dream, he didn't have the scars, it didn't look like him at all, but it was him, and I don't know." It was obvious her dream had bothered her more than she wanted to let on. "It was just a dream though, they don't mean anything. It is simply your unconscious ordering the last images to be seen by your mind. We aren't psychic, so you too should let go of the whole foreboding attitude." Rose made herself busy in the kitchen again cleaning up. Her speech was over.

"Well," I began, "it just means we have to go back. They open at 1:00pm today."

"Sorry man, you're on your own today. The sis and I are off the grandma's house." I had completely forgotten that they were going to visit their grandmother today. They went every other Sunday to spend the day with her since they had had to put her in a nursing home. "You want to come along, I'm sure she would love to see you."

"Not this week, but thanks. Send her my love." Jasper nodded and went to get ready as the time had flown; it was now 10:00am.

It broke my heart to see Gran Hale in a home but there was no alternative with the progression of her dementia. Even my dad, the brilliant Dr. Cullen, wasn't able to do anything aside from get her into the most prestigious long term care facility. She was all Jasper and Rose had and raised them single handedly when their parents had passed. In many ways, she had adopted me as much as my parents had since I spent more time at the Hales than at home when I was younger. I would go see her next time, but today, I wanted, no, needed to go back to the circus. I had enough time to get home and shower before being on my way.

I said my goodbyes and headed home much more awake. Mom was still on the couch only this time holding a plate with an omelet.

"You look much more awake now sweetheart." Her honey voice always made me smile; it reminded me of how she would scare away all the monsters when I was. Just the sound of her speaking would soothe me and warm me to this day. I had the best mom. I went and sat beside her curling into her side and hugging her. Go on and call me a mama's boy, but when that mom is Esme Cullen, no one would blame me.

"You should have come over too, Rose made more than enough." She laughed and ran her hands through my hair.

"Oh no, your father is at the hospital today so I am just going to relax, this is the first Sunday where I have no obligations, no functions. I am not moving from my couch."

"Did you want to come to the circus with me?" I wiggled my eyebrows earning another smile.

"No honey, you have fun, I'll see you when you get back. If you're up for it, maybe you'll escort your old mom to dinner tonight. I feel like Italiano. 6:00pm? Oh and honey, Jessica called again." She smirked at me while I groaned. Not again.

"It's a plan mom." I ignored the topic of my admirer. She kissed my forehead as I made my way up to get ready and thought of ways to make it very clear that I was not interested in going out with Jessica. I was amazed at her eagerness when I had thought I had made myself more than clear on many an occasion. I would wait to talk it over with Rose; she was good at getting rid of parasites.

I was getting excited as it came nearer to the time I would be seeing her. I had it bad. I blame stripper hair and whips. I had no game plan, it was pretty much get there, find her and wing it. I put on a pair of khaki's that fit low on my hips and a white light linen button down. I was very casual, finished with a pair of flips flops. Rose had once told me this outfit made her so hot for me that she wanted to shred my clothes off me. There was nothing wrong with taking some care in how I looked right. I wanted my little Lion Tamer to tame me after all. I wasn't conceited but I wasn't so dense to not know that I had an effect on women; I could only hope I would on her as well.

The parking lot was starting to fill out when I arrived with mostly families with young children. I chuckled as a little boy ran quickly by me. He seemed to be about 3 years old; he tripped, but stood right back up and started forward again. His were parents laughing holding hands trying to keep up with him. His mother had long brown hair and for a moment I seemed transported and it was my angel and I chasing our son. Alright, I started giving myself a pep talk as I walked to the gate. How about I meet the girl before I go planning our entire future together.

I paid my ticket in and started wandering around. I noticed how the atmosphere seemed a lot lighter in the daylight than it had in the dark. At night the circus took on an otherworldly feeling, one of mystery and foreboding, it would give you the chills, but now it seemed like a colorful playground. I eyed a cotton candy bag and decided against it. Our stomachs had behaved last night and let us live without the reappearance of the fluffy colored sugar; I figured it was best to not tempt fate. I got a cinnamon pretzel instead.

There were many attractions we hadn't seen yesterday. I looked behind me as I felt I was being watched. I was prepared for the bimbo that had surely been following me but there was no one. I continued on reading the posters as I passed by. There was a wolf man, a bearded lady and a mermaid. I scoffed at that one; I would love to see how they made that look realistic when I heard a heavily accented voice behind me.

"You don't believe in the fantastical?" I turned around and was standing face to face with what looked like a gypsy girl. She had blonde hair and wore a peasant skirt with a white peasant top. She played her role completely with the bandana on her head and the large gold hoop earrings. "Come skeptic to my world; let me tell you about yours. I am Mistress Eralda. I will tell you your future." She smiled at me as she openly appraised me. She seemed to be about my age. A fortune teller, why not give it a shot, maybe she would be able to tell me how to find the star of my dreams.

We went into a heavily decorated tent, the smell of incense clouding my head. I saw shadows everywhere. She sat me down on the other side of a round table that had been covered with a blood red cloth.

"Your name?"

"Edward."

She reached for my hand as she said my name, rolling the rrrrr. She mumbled a few words raising our hands and closing her eyes before opening them and staring at me. She took my left hand and flipped it palm up and started tracing lines.

"You care for your family and friends but you are lonely. You are unlucky in love. You seek the one to give your heart to." So far so good, but generic, I was always weary of these things. You never knew who was just putting you on. "She is closer than you think; you have already found her, right here at the circus." Ok now she had my attention.

"How do I approach her?" Her eyes flew up and met mine in surprise as I leaned closer; the intensity of my reaction had thrown her off.

"I would say be direct, she will receive you well." She stood and pulled me up with her until I was standing impossibly close to her. "So what are …?"

"Mistress Eralda." A tinkly bell of a voice broke through the tent. A head ducked in and there stood the little pixie flier. "You're wanted in the maintenance area. Right now." It was as if a silent fight was happening in their gazes as the Mistress dropped my hand.

"I am sorry, we shall have to continue another time," she leaned in and put her hand on my chest, that familiar discomfort was in the pit of my stomach, "for you, no charge." She left quickly glaring at the tiny performer who had remained and was now scrutinizing me, she noticed my gaze and her head shot to the ground her posture dropping. Then as if she made a decision within herself she seemed to force her posture straight and raised her head to meet my eyes.

She reached out a hand to me and I took it, a sense of déjà vu. I took a moment to analyze, was my dream coming true. "We have to hurry. Come on." She led me out of the tent away through the concessions to an area off limits to anyone but the employees.

She led me to an isolated picnic table in the employee area. "Just give me a minute, don't go anywhere." Her eyes bore into me as she made it clear that I was not to move. I wouldn't have anyways. She was back in an instant with some soup and crackers and sandwiches. "Go on, eat something, it's chicken noodle, your favorite." My eyes shot up. How did she know that? "I'll answer your questions later, just eat first, you haven't had anything but that pretzel since your breakfast." I started to eat my soup as I studied her.

She was truly a tiny person, she came no where near my shoulder when she was standing next to me and it blew my mind she knew things she shouldn't. I wasn't leaving without getting every answer I wanted but I didn't even know where to begin. "We've been waiting for you." My head shot up.

"What did you say?"

"I said we've been waiting for you," her face scrunched up, "you weren't supposed to be here alone though." Her eyes took on sadness before she perked up again. "That's alright; something must have changed is all." She took my dumbfounded look and it was then I noticed she had finished her lunch. I took the last few bites of my sandwich finishing mind as well.

"Thank you for lunch." Her face was downward again as if she couldn't look me in the eye.

"Your welcome." She spoke in such a small voice, the inkling of insecurity showing in the timbre, she looked up at me and we studied each other. I processed what she had said.

"What do you mean I wasn't supposed to be alone?" It seemed as if she inflated with confidence as she spoke with certainty.

"I saw two others with you; I didn't see faces, a man and woman, both blonde." I started laughing as I realized there was nothing special about this girl. She had simply taken notice of us here last night, and for a second, I had actually believed she could see the future. "What are you laughing at?" She looked confused.

"I am laughing at myself, for a second there; I was starting to think you could see the future. I'm sorry, I was being silly, must be seeing that Fortune Teller, it's making me see coincidence everywhere. You saw us last night, when I was here with my friends Rose and Jasper, they were the blondes." Her face eyed me warily and took on an edge. She spoke slowly as if trying to make sense of something herself.

"You were here last night, with a blonde female and a blonde male?" I nodded, this was getting weird, she asked as if she hadn't seen us last night. When she spoke again, it was very quiet. "The fortune teller's a twit and wouldn't know anything about being clairvoyant if it beat her with a stick. I never saw you here last night Edward, or anyone who would have been here with you." She took a breath. What was she telling me? I didn't say anything as I let her talk. "I saw you in a vision or call it a dream. I can _see _things."

I laughed again, this time mockingly. "Right, you _see_ things," I stood to leave. "Look thanks again for lunch, but it's time for me to go."

"Why did you follow me Edward?" It occurred to me I didn't know her name, not her real name, I was sure Aurora Borealis was a stage name.

"Look," and I paused letting her fill in her name.

"Alice." Of course, now her stage name made sense.

"Look Alice, I appreciate the lunch but I won't be the butt of whatever joke you're playing, I get it, must be mundane doing the same thing all the time, you wanted to talk to the cute boy, and you're a cute girl, it was great, now I am leaving." She stood and eyed me defiantly.

"Oh, ok, so you followed me because I am a cute girl, well then, you're right, I shouldn't waste my time with you after all, I mean, I would have thought you followed me because of your dream, but I must be wrong." She cleaned the garbage and was going to walk away while I debated. I was floored, she mentioned the dream, but did she really know something, or was she playing odds. It was ridiculous to even think, but what if there was something to her and the little sprite really knew something. My one goal was to get closer to the woman of my dreams, literally, what could it hurt.

"Wait," she turned around. "I'm listening, you see things." I sat back down to show my commitment to hearing her out.

She smiled at me. "Thank you Mr. Cullen." A mistake already, I knew it, I should have left but I was still intrigued, a good guess of course, I wonder where she heard it but I figured I would play with her, see if she was the real deal.

"You're wrong, my last name is Masen."

"You were born a Masen, you are a Cullen, your adoptive parent's name. Have you told them you plan on legally changing it yet?" Alright, one point to pint size. No one knew I was planning to take my parents names after all these years, it was a decision I had just made recently when I finally decided to close the door on my biological family. "They'll be thrilled you know, you're mom especially, it has always hurt her a little that you never wanted their name."

"Ok Alice, you wanted to talk to me, so let's hear it. Why am I here and what do you know about my dream?"

"You were meant to come here, I don't know why. I've seen you for years, but never knew when you would come and then last night I had the most bizarre dream and knew the time had come."

"You aren't making any sense. You tell me I am meant to be here, that you saw me coming, but you don't know what for." She shook her head and looked down again. "So why did you need to speak to me then?"

"I was hoping I would get something more if I spent time with you but so far nothing." She looked like she wanted to cry. "I thought you might be the answer."

"Answer to what?"

"I've said too much, what did you dream?" It was her turn to be curious. Did I want to tell her, she had been so open with me, maybe she could help me after all.

"I dreamt about your Lion Tamer, Nights Belladonna. I came here hoping to see her." Her eyes widened with delight.

"That's it, that is what was missing." Her eyes glazed over. "You're going to be so happy together."

"You're losing me Tink." She smiled again.

"That's what she calls me, Bella, the Lion Tamer, that's her real name. She's my sister, her family adopted me when I was left here. Oh it's all coming together now." Bella, her name was Bella, beautiful, there was no other name so fitting. A wistful look had come on my face. "That's so sweet, you're already in love with her."

"Wait your sister, you were adopted, and you're going too fast, I don't know that I would say I am in love with her."

"When I was four I was left at the circus that had come to town. My parents had left a note saying I belonged here. I can only guess I was telling them about things I could see and it scared them. They must have thought I was a freak so why not leave me with a whole crew of them right. It's what everyone thinks of circus people. I've been told Bella's parents took me in, I don't remember much of then. You are totally in love with her, it radiates off you."

"I don't know what I feel, I just know I can't get her off my mind." I couldn't be in love with her already, I didn't believe in love at first sight, did I? There was only one way to find out. "Where is she now, let's go say hi, there is only one way to find out if I love her right?"

Alice scrutinized me openly. "I'll take you to see her, but your introduction will take some planning."

"Planning? This isn't exactly a covert operation Alice."

"Do you want to meet her?" I nodded. "Then you will have to do things my way, unfortunately Edward, it is not as easy as just introducing you, there are outside influences that are working against you. I'll explain everything in time, right now you just need to trust me. Come on." I did trust her, she had shared so much with me and I just felt this bond with her.

She led me behind the Big Top where I could see the performer's entrance. Inside I could hear the growl of the lions and then I saw her as the curtain was moved from the tent. She was rolling on the ground playing with the lions like they were her own kittens. It took my breath away.

"Definitely love." Alice was eyeing me. "We have to go now before anyone sees us together and you need to get ready for your dinner with your mom." We walked back to the general area where the public was allowed again still hidden and conversed easily. I still had a couple questions for her I wanted answered but I was now on cloud nine, even seeing her, My Bella, because as of now she was mine, had completely calmed me down.

"Is Bella with anyone?" She cringed. I had realized I didn't even ask if she was single but Alice surely wouldn't be trying to help me meet her if she wasn't right.

"No, but there are those who try." I nodded; we would have to work fast. The thoughts of someone else even trying to lay their hands on her made me want to vomit. "Don't worry, she is protected." I nodded again.

"Why don't you do the fortunes with your gift, I would think your boss would be all over it." I was earned another cringe.

"No one knows about it but you." I was shocked.

"Not even your sister, Bella." Saying her name brought a goofy grin to my face. Alice giggled but shook her head and I heard her mutter _definitely love_ again. "How does it work, what you see?"

"I'm not really sure; it's why I have never told anyone. I don't see everything and I can't look for things. I get flashes or dreams that play like a movie. From what I have been able to try and understand, is I see things when I am involved in making it happen, or if I can somehow stop it from happening, if that makes sense. If something is just meant to happen, then I don't think I get any warning. If people knew then I know they would try and exploit it, and it is so limited, I couldn't give them what they would be asking for."

It did make sense and I had a feeling her decision to not tell anyone had been a result of something she had seen.

"This is where I leave you Edward, can you come back tomorrow at 8:00am? I'll get you inside from the back. We need to strategize and I have an idea. If you do exactly as I say, you will meet her tomorrow." She knew already that I would be there. "Ok, and hey, tell your mom tonight, about your name change. She'll be elated." She skipped away gracefully.

This had been an entertaining and enlightening visit and I was glad I had made it on my own, I don't think I would have had quite the same outcome if Jasper and Rose had been here and now there Alice who seemed her own enigma. There were times she spoke with confidence of what she saw and how things needed to be and then it seemed she would withdraw into herself with the weight of insecurity.

I debated over telling anyone of my day yet, I knew Jasper would be interested to know I spent the day with Alice, there was something going on there, I wondered what else Alice had seen since she had mentioned my two friends. There was no doubt in my mind now that we were all linked somehow.

I left the circus with a new sense of myself as I thought of My Bella, the image of her playing still at the forefront of my mind, she was so brave. I had wanted to run in there and shield her from the danger of the lions. It was ridiculous I knew since she spent her life with them but I couldn't help how protective I felt of her and Alice. She had hinted to other things going on, I hadn't pressed but I would in time.

Nothing could ruin my day now and I knew it would only get better after I told my mother the news.

_Ah, Bella._


	4. The Mating Game

**A/N: I have returned with mucho apologies for the large large amount of time that has passed since the last chapter. I had become a little disconnected from the story with things happening around me. Things aren't completely kosher yet but all the wonderful people reading deserve some love.**

**Thank you thank you to those who have read and reviewed thus far, here's hoping you're still with me. To the newbie's, you show me love; I show you love and won't leave you all in the lurch for so long again. **

So I was trying to post this for like 5 days, anyone else have any problems?

**Disclaimer: If you know it, I don't own it but damn it's fun to play with!**

**Please review.**

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The Mating Game

I was inside the Big Top, that much I could be sure of despite the cloudy haze everywhere. I took in my surroundings cataloging all the subtle differences. This Big Top was brighter, the fabric of the tent much more vibrant. The equipment gleamed from the care taken with a good polish. The acrobatic sashes Alice used were stark in contrast against the gold and red of the tent in a color I had never seen Alice use and my lion's fire ring was placed in one of the smaller stage rings.

"Have you found what you were looking for?" I spun around and the dress I wore fluttered around me, I looked down. The dress was a rich emerald green color with tiny gems sparkling. The skirt was full and caught just the right amount of wind when I spun making it dance around me as I moved. I looked up at the voice that had called me and started to see a younger, handsome, unscarred Emmett and realized at the same time that this me was younger as well.

His words sounded ominous.

"Bella sweetheart there you are." A man rushed to my side and lifted me spinning me in the air sending my dress afloat again and I giggled. My child like voice was new to me.

"DADDY!" _DADDY!_ Was this my father? My laughs and giggles grew as I searched for a face that remained shrouded in shadows.

"Daddy, I want a turn." It was a little Alice stomping her foot demanding equal attention. My father put me down and his deep baritone warmed me to my centre as he let out a chuckle picking up the small demanding dwarf. Her own fairy like laughter tinkled in response as she was twirled and again I strained the see the face that so often eluded me only to be blocked by the tiny body twirling every time he would turn to me. "Daddy, I'm gonna fly like mommy one day." Alice had spread her arms into the traditional pose taken by fliers on a regular pass.

It was watching Alice practice that same movement now that caused me to remember the dream I had before waking this morning. The locks had been undone sometime before sunrise so we might all get to work quickly. There was always much to be done. The second morning of being in a new town was always a little less busy than the first morning but there were still animals that needed to be taken care of and maintenance to be done before opening again for the day as well as rehearsals.

Alice looked peaceful as she graced the air while I mused about my dream. Was it a dream? There was some deeper suspicion that left me to wonder if it could have possibly been a memory. My first instinct when I had wakened was to run to Uncle Quil to ask what position my mother had performed when the fresh round of pain at his abandonment returned. He wasn't there to be asked any longer. It seemed odd to me now that I could not remember ever having discussed with anyone what my parents had performed.

I was drawn out of my own head when I heard the screaming and saw Alice stumble and start to free fall with no sash ---- from the top of the tent.

I was frozen as I watch my sister begin to plummet at an alarming pace while everything also seemed to happen in slow motion. The workers were panicking trying to get some sort of net underneath her when she gracefully twisted her body as if she were doing a high dive into the deep end of a luxurious pool rather than heading toward concrete at a skull cracking pace. Her twist had managed to change her velocity and the trajectory of her body sending her soaring right into the middle of her second sash which she grabbed onto easily securing herself and glided the remaining distance to the ground. All hands burst into applause.

I ran to her and scooped her into the largest hug I could possibly manage. It was her hands on my face wiping it clean that drew my attention to the tears I hadn't even felt.

"Hey, no worries, I am fine." She gave me a dazzling smile. I knew that smile. It was the smile Alice used when she was trying to hide something, the one that pleaded with you to let the topic drop and not ask any questions. I was never one to listen to that smile.

"What happened, you've never had a slip like that before." I searched her face, watching it scrunch as she seemed to be searching for the right words.

"I, ummm, saw something?" She couldn't meet my eyes, a sure sign that Alice was keeping something from me. Seen something? What had she seen, there was nothing unusual or out of place in the tent and I was about to point that out to her when she started running from me yelling back. "Sorry gotta go, see ya when it's time to get ready." With a back handed wave she was gone.

I was shaken, nothing like that had ever happened before and Alice seemed to think nothing of it, shouldn't she be as shaken as me. It was her facing the inevitable death on that drop after all. I took a breath and braced myself, I wouldn't dwell on what hadn't happened when she obviously wasn't but instead of a calming effect I felt choking sobs start to erupt. I needed air. I'd go for a walk as I continued to think about the origin of my nocturnal vision. Now how was I going to find out what I wanted to know on my parents, I suppose the only people left with any real information would be the Laurent's, but did I really want to take that route. No doubt James would try and make some _bargain_ with me for the information. If only Emmett…

I scoffed at myself, if only Emmett what Bella? Was I going to condemn him too now for his simplicity, something I had always reveled in when faced with all the uncertainty and confusion at the lack of knowledge in regards to my own existence? My gentle brother who would rather face his death nightly in order to protect my innocence. I wouldn't condemn him too just because it suited my fancy when I wanted information he couldn't give me. He would have told me all he knew by now if he did. Emmett was not a person to keep secrets, he didn't know how.

I chastised myself for my thoughts, I was cranky and my dream had left me with less than restful sleep. It was going to be a long day. I could only hope that everything would run smoothly today so there would be no punishments.

I tried to think of a more pleasant topic in an effort to change my mood and immediately a head of bronze hair seemed to materialize in my mind. He had been magnificent, my imagination couldn't have dreamt up a man more perfect. He was going to star in my fantasies for quite some time. Sadly I didn't even know his name, what would you call perfection, those piercing eyes that danced and sparkled as he watched our show. I had even tried to imagine that when I saw a moment of anger and searching in his eyes during the show that it was because he was looking for me but of course I knew better. He sat with Emmett's girl and I knew they must be together. Both perfect, it made sense, and it would break Emmett's heart. He didn't allow himself to get attached to too much, but if he let himself feel something, he was loyal and he had already shown me he would be loyal to this girl. I wondered what it was about her that caused such an immediate strong reaction from him, the same reaction the _Adonis_ had stirred in me. What a sad pair my brother and I were.

"Hey Bells." I had come to the kitchens in my walk, my stomach leading the way. A group of performers and attractions were sitting idly enjoying a quick break.

"Hey Jake." I sat beside the Wolf Man of our circus. He was covered in hair, everywhere. Little children screamed when he growled at them and acted as ferocious as an animal should but he was just Jake. A man unfortunate to have a rare condition called Hypertrichosis. It made his body grow hair all over, and I mean all over, with the exception of his palms and the bottoms of his feet. It was a fine hair, but it grew to lengths between 7 and 9 inches resulting in his wolf like appearance. His teeth, however, were perfect, so he wore a prosthetic to perform making it seem he had fangs, it was an effective tool to the overall look and he was popular with the public, especially when the adults took the time to talk to him and became impressed with his intelligence. He also worked with our engineers on the mechanics of the circus and knew each machine inside out.

"Sit down, have a bite with us." His smile was warm, so much like a rising sun. He was one of the few people I could sit with and just enjoy the silence, never needing to fill it. It was another odd aspect to the circus to know just who you might be with when you were older since our selection of companions was limited.

As it was now, Jake was mine, we seemed to be on that road that would lead to the next generation of, well I guess it would be Lion Tamers since Jake didn't know if his condition would be passed to any children he had. We had even talked about our impending future together on occasion. When he stopped being the Wolf Man, he would keep the hair shaved off at all times and he would look just like any normal man. He had once shaved it all off for me to see him and I had to admit, he was quite handsome.

Dating in the circus consisted of spending time together, sitting talking, or eating as we did now. It was a gradual announcement to the company that two people enjoyed the company of the other but Jake and I hadn't begun that stage of togetherness yet, we knew, but there was no rush when all you had was time.

"Bella dear," another voice from the next table called.

"Yes Margarethe." The older costume lady was stout and everything you expected a grandmotherly figure to be.

"Don't forget we have a fitting this afternoon after you run your lions." I nodded my agreement and continued to pick off Jake's plate of food, still not hungry but needing something. "Oh and dear," I looked up at her again. "Do tell Emmett to be more careful, you and Alice are the only ones he'll listen to." She was speaking more to herself now but I could still make out the words. "Sneaking round that Laurent's trailer, asking for another lesson and beating. Foolish child." Emmett had been sneaking around James' trailer? He had no business to be in that area.

I wordlessly stood to go have a word with my brother. He was repairing some of the ride carts, hammering out some dents and it looked to be hard work, he was shirtless and sweating, and had an audience it seemed. I could see Lauren, our Mistress Eralda, staring at the ripples in his back as he worked while she spoke to one of the clones who worked trapeze. Fortune Teller my ass, the girl didn't know her zodiac signs from her crystal ball. I caught a snippet of their conversation when I heard them mention Alice.

"So he was totally into it and completely flirting with me, telling me how hot he thought I was when that munchkin Alice comes in and tells me I gotta come to maintenance cause I'm needed. I so wanted to give her a smack, tearing me from that gorgeous man stud, but like, I know he'll come back. He totally admitted he was into me." So that was where she had skipped of to, but why would she have to run to tell Lauren she was needed in maintenance. Lauren continued her monologue amongst the lemmings hanging on her every word. "Well at least he's good for something," her eyes were now boring in Emmett's back, "I'd do him, if he covered his face with a pillow or something. I mean I don't think I could look at it while fucking you know?" They all started squealing in laughter while my blood boiled. Before I knew it I was at her side, grabbing her hair from the back of her head forcing it backwards, everyone scattered in fear of me.

"Talk about my brother like that again, and I will rip each follicle from your head one by one with rusty tweezers. Understand?" She whimpered and attempted to nod while I held her head taunt, tears welling in her eyes from the extra pull on her hair when she tried to move her head. I gave sidelong looks to the lemmings and they scattered.

By tonight, we would all be civil to each other again and we would coexist in peace but from time to time little lessons needed to be extended to let people know where they stand. Lauren had understood all my meanings in my warning. As it seemed Jake was for me, it seemed Lauren would be for Emmett and I was letting her know that I would not tolerate the woman who was to be for my brother disrespecting him in any way. She desired him, I saw it in her face when she would look at him, and she was not bothered by his scars which made her joke all the more distasteful. She knew she could do worse than my brother as well and so she had been put in her place when it came to the Swan family. As soon as my hand had let go of her hair, I had also let go of my anger and any grudge. In our small community you couldn't afford to hold onto a grudge, unless it was towards James and Victoria. I let out an involuntary shudder.

"I'm sorry Bella." She seemed small as she looked at the ground.

"A couple days Lauren, check the bitch ok." She nodded and left, we would be fine, she let her jealousy rule her actions on too many occasions. It was the reason she didn't like Alice, she was always in fear that since Alice wasn't really related to us she could still turn Emmett's head. She'd get it one day.

Emmett seemed to be finished and was wiping the sweat from himself with his t-shirt. He had kept his back turned the whole time and hadn't even realized what transpired behind him.

"Lauren was watching you work. I think she was appreciating the view, even mentioned something about being in bed fucking you." My voice rose near the end in a teasing manner. I wasn't lying about her saying those things, but a little white twist on how it was said couldn't hurt, he needed someone. His eyebrows rose in surprise.

"Don't curse." I tell him a girl is thinking about him in bed and all he picks up on it the fact I said fuck. I curbed the urge to shake my head.

"Why don't you ask her for a walk tonight, maybe hold her hand?" The universal signal in our world that a match had been made.

"I can't." He picked up the second shirt he had beside him folded and put it on. The first shirt he threw over his shoulder as he started to the dressing trailer.

"Why not, you were thinking about it last week." His shoulders dropped. He had chickened out in the last town, even we were still afraid of rejection.

"That was before." Before? Before what? It dawned on me a moment later, it was before _her_.

"I saw her last night; I didn't get a chance to tell you. She was in the box with James, with these other two guys." Emmett was peeling the bandage off his face and washing his fresh scars with soap and water, his sweat had managed to get under the medical tape that held his bandages in place.

"Rose." I was lost for a moment and just stared at him. "Her name is Rose, and the men are Jasper and Edward." He was drying his face gently, some of the new scars pink and scabbing. He didn't put new bandages on.

He knew their names, not just hers but the names of the other two as well, I had a name to go with that perfect specimen with the bronze hair, it was Jasper, or it could be Edward. I rolled them both over and couldn't think which fit best, either would work. I frowned pondering. Maybe he knew which was which, but I couldn't just ask, I had to be clever; Emmett was still far too perceptive most of the time.

"Rose is a pretty name, it fits her. Jasper and Edward were the guys you say; Jasper was the darker haired one?" Answer my question, answer my question.

"No, I think he was the lighter haired one, Rose's brother." So his name was Edward. Somehow that seemed right; it was a perfect name for him, classic, sophisticated.

"Hey, how did you know all their names anyway?" It had just hit me.

"I heard them talking to each other." I nodded. He had finished cleaning up and was now facing me, his hands holding him up against the wash basin behind him. I felt such sorrow for him.

"Emmett honey," I stood to hug him. "You know you will probably never see her again right?" _Just like you will probably never see Edward again._ My voice was soft as I put my arms around his waist and laid my head on his chest.

"I'll ask Lauren tonight. After the clean up is done, if it's a good night." I nodded against him and squeezed slightly. He leaned down and kissed the top of my hair.

"I think it's best Em." I had to go get my babies out for a run. I waved a goodbye to continue my day. It seemed to be passing more quickly than I expected. I remembered too late that I had forgotten to ask Emmett about James' trailer. It didn't matter, Margarethe probably had it wrong.

I continued on to my fittings much to her delight, for the first time not complaining as the skirt was a reasonable length down my thighs; this was a design of her own. So far, no influence from management could be seen tainting it. The only uncomfortable moment seemed when I was playing with my girls and felt this charge come over the room as if I was being watched but when I turned to check no one was there.

I finally saw Alice again when it was time to get ready and I swear she was more jumpy than usual. She seemed wired the rest of the night and couldn't seem to concentrate on anything. The only time she seemed to relax was when she was flying and then it was my turn to be on edge remembering her fall just this morning.

Emmett did ask Lauren on their walk and they circled the grounds. A chorus of whispers could be heard buzzing about when he took her hand, murmurs of happiness for my brother. They didn't speak to each other, I knew they wouldn't. The only person bothered by the development was Alice.

"Why is Emmett holding Lauren's hand?" We were in our quarters, we couldn't bring ourselves to say cages, talking through the bars, I was brushing Sahara's mane.

"He needs to settle down; it's the right time for them." I could hear the wistfulness in my own voice and knew Alice had caught it.

"Is it the right time for you and Jake as well?" She seemed quite invested in my answer and the weirdness of her actions grew.

"No, Jake understands that I need to see Emmett taken care of first, you too, and," I hated myself for my own shallowness. "He knows I am not bothered by his condition, but I need to be able to see him, really see him, so we will not likely be together until he is ready to give up his position as an attraction." Alice let out a breath she had been holding as if she was relieved by my answer. "Alice, what's going on with you, do you like Jake?" She started at my question, it was a valid one, and why else would she be glad that we weren't taking the next step.

"Like Jake? NO, no, I…" She was stuttering. "What if there is someone else out there for you, someone else for Emmett?" Very low she added a wistful _for me_. She perked up and was smiling so wide. "Don't you wonder what it could be like away from all this? What lives we could live on the outside, what it even looks like out there. I've never even been inside a mall Bella, can you believe it." She was more and more animated as she dug out a stack of what seemed to be magazines. Vogues to be exact. "Margarethe picked them up for me," she answered my silent question. "Look at these dresses, I feel like we're missing something here." She was sad again.

"Alice, where is this coming from, you have always been happy here."

"Oh Bella, we've never been happy here, this is all we know, there has never been a choice. What if there was a choice?" She was so full of hope for something different when all I could feel was the despair of the truth.

"There is no choice for us Alice, this is what we know, and this is who we are. We don't have a place out there. There is no point to dreaming we do." That seemed to be the end of our conversation and I turned to sleep having finished the mane of both girls now. When I woke Alice was already gone probably still upset at me for shattering her fantasy.

It was time to wake up and do it all again. I headed to the showers and once more felt that charge of feeling come over me, the inkling that I was being watched. I was ready to yell and scream at James for his sneaking but if I listened to what I felt knowing someone was there, it wasn't fear or an intrusion into my world. I knew I was being watched but I felt safe somehow.

I went into the showers to clean up. Wrapping a towel around myself ready to run for the dressing rooms I stumbled as I ran into a wall. I looked up and my breath caught in my throat as the wall's mouth stammered in awe, his hands catching my hips to keep me from falling, unconsciously bringing me closer to him.

He wore a circus janitor uniform and had been sweeping the area, the broom fallen on the floor next to us, the name tag said Quil. His hair was covered with a scarf but small bits of bronze had managed to find their way out refusing to cooperate and be confined as if they had a mind of their own. I was lost in a sea of emerald green dazzled by the sparkle of his eyes. He found himself and sighed one word like it was his personal prayer of salvation.

"_Bella."_


End file.
